im having a threesome with these popsicles
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
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i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
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The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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