he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
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I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
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Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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