great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
stop calling my apartment porn island.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize