Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize