Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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