His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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