I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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