she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize