Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize