I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize