If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the high leading the old right now
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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