can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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