I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I sprained my soul last night
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize