your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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