So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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