She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
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Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
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Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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