booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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