So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize