two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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