I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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