I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Randomize