We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
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I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
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Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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