You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
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He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
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He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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