make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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