if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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