Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
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She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
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Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize