I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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