I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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