my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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