oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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