I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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