Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
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