so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
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The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
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I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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