I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
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I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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