guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize