Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize