that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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