I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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