and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
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in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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