eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
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obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
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And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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