Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize