i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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