P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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