What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize