The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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