Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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