I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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