you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
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He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
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