I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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