It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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